


A Dish, Best Served

by Natasi (SwordDraconis113)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baking, Coitus Interruptus, F/F, Fic Exchange, Red Queen Week 2016, Revenge, Seduction, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 22:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8345779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwordDraconis113/pseuds/Natasi
Summary: For angel_xf_small_death, Red Queen Fic ExchangeThis was Regina’s fucking fault. If she’d just kept her condescending comments to herself, they wouldn’t be in this shit-storm of a mess. Granny was never going to look at her the same.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angel_xf_small_death](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_xf_small_death/gifts).



> (I was given this a little late, so I hope it's to your liking!)

When Madam Mayor had taken her usual seat in the diner, reading the _Storybrooke_ _Daily Mirror_ as she ordered a coffee, with a slice of cake, Ruby had been surprised. The cake was new. Usually, Regina didn’t order any of the diner’s cakes, but if she did, she had always ordered something lighter, like the blueberry friand they sometimes had on offer. 

But on Thursday afternoon, during which time she seemed to be in a particularly bad mood, she ordered, “a slice of that chocolate cake on the special. With my usual, of course.”

“Cake?”

“I’m sorry, did I mumble my order?” Regina had looked up at Ruby, tilting her head to offer a mockery of perplexity. 

“No, no, I was ju-“ Ruby cut herself off as Regina’s lips pressed into a frown, “O-of course, Madam Mayor. I’ll get right on it.” She returned moments later with the cake, having taken special care to cut the most presentable slice. Telling herself that the last thing she had wanted to do was a piss off Madam Mayor with a less-than-presentable slice of double-chocolate cake.

Without looking up from her newspaper, Regina had said her thanks and that should have been all there was to the cake situation. 

But of course, it hadn’t been. On her return, to bring over Regina’s coffee and set it down, Ruby noted that only a single, small scoop had been taken from the end, top corner of the cake. The fork had then been left discarded on the plate, the cream sitting untouched on the side, and the delicious pieces of strawberry on top remained resting on the best piece of icing. 

It wasn’t unusual. Regina was the type of person who took her time with small bites, whilst sipping her coffee as she read the newspaper, ignoring the rest of diner. But the way the plate had been pushed away, just a little out of reach, gave Ruby the unpleasant feeling that her stomach was beginning to sink.

She sat down the cappuccino, making sure that none of the froth had spilt over the rim, onto the saucer, before she said, “is that everything?” as she took the number from the table.

She heard a small, but firm, “Thank you, dear,” and took that to grant her leave. But as she turned away,  she was stopped by a nonchalant, “Oh, and I won’t be paying for that cake.”

“Sorry?” Ruby turned back. Her stomach was deep in her intestines by this point, leaving an emptiness where it had once been.

“So you should be,” the newspaper folded down, showing Madam Mayor’s dark eyes, reflecting a menacing flare by the sunlight. “I refuse to pay for false advertising.”

“On the…cake?” The cake was double-chocolate. Rich, with a dollop of cream on the side to smooth out the flavour. There was a half of a strawberry on top for decoration and added tartness to the icing, but there was nothing there that seemed to be false advertising. It _was_ double-chocolate.

“Tell me dear, what does the sign say?”

Ruby grit her teeth, stiffly holding her service smile before turning to the specialty board. “It says homemade dou-“

“Homemade,” Regina said, snapping the attention back to her. “Is where I have a problem. Miss Lucas.”

“You don’t want homemade?” Ruby asked.

“Do you take me for an idiot, Miss Lucas?”

Right now, she took her for a condescending –– “No, Madam Mayor,” she answered instead.

“Then explain to me why I’m being a served a cake mix instead of, as your sign says, homemade?”

Ruby blinked, unsure of how to reply, before she choked out a confused, “But it was made in the diner by Granny.”

“And it’s clearly a packet mix,” Regina said, smiling at her. “Which removes it from being ‘homemade’ as you said and makes it therefor a _lie_.”

“But ––“

“I’ve made up my mind on the matter. I refuse to pay for _this_ cake when I ordered _that_ one.” She pointed to blackboard, making her point known with a vicious smirk that dug into Ruby’s pride.

“It’s _not_ a cake mix.” Well, it was partially a cake mix, Granny founded it easier to begin with a base and then add to it, but that wasn’t the point. She knew for a fact that Regina had no idea about that. What she did know was that _Madam Mayor_ was prone to childish exercises of power when she was in a mood. “And you ordered it.”

“I _ordered_ a homemade double-chocolate cake. Not some packet mix from a dollar store.”

“You can’t just ––“

“Uh,” she said, raising a finger at Ruby. “I’ll pay for the cake when it’s actually a homemade double-chocolate cake, Miss Lucas. Thank you for your service.”

Her mouth ajar, Ruby scrambled to reply, before catching Granny’s warning look from the bar. “Fine,” Ruby said, snatching the plate. “Enjoy your coffee.”

There was something to be said about being the only place in Storybrooke to get a decent coffee without owning your own espresso machine. It meant that sometimes Ruby could call out rude behaviour. 

She wouldn’t with Madam Mayor, not unless she wanted their license revoked. But she might be a little less than courteous when it was well deserved. And god, was it well deserved.

Granny didn’t make the unpaid cake come out of her tips (to which Regina tipped well enough, a little less than usual, but Ruby was surprised she tipped at all) but nonetheless, the whole matter left a nasty sting to Ruby’s mood. 

“She’s a mean one, girlie,” Eugene Lucas had stated with a nothing more than a shrug. “Best you let someone else serve her for a bit.”

But Ruby wouldn’t take it lying down. It wasn’t that Regina had refused to pay for a piece of cake that annoyed her, it was that, when she came in the next day with Kathryn, Regina had the _audacity_ to say “don’t bother” as Kathryn ordered a slice of the baked cheesecake. “You can get it from the frozen section in the dollar store.”

 _That_ had not been true, in the least. Ruby had _made_ that cheesecake herself from scratch. No doubt, Regina knew this _and yet_ …and yet! She smirked while saying it!

To quote Mary-Margaret’s words from that night: “What a…a _witch!”_

It wouldn’t stand. Ruby refused to have the diner’s reputation at stake over Regina’s bad mood. No, she was going to make her pay for it. She was going to get her revenge and it was going to be the best coldest dish. Ever. 

It was just a matter of _how_.

Over the next couple of days, Ruby thought of at least twenty ridiculous plans that would have ended up with her being charged at the Sheriff’s Station for vandalisation or breaking and entering. She then thought of a couple of more legal methods of revenge, which didn’t seem all that satisfying to be honest, and then finally settled on something _perfect_.

Revenge was going to be a delicious, decadent cake. The most delicious, decadent cake in the world for _Madam fucking Mayor_.

And Ruby was going to wave a red flag straight at Regina to get her to try it.

First thing first, she needed the basic ingredients and some test apples to experiment with. Then she was going to spend the next week making the most beautiful, luscious cake that Regina had ever tried. It was going to be so good that Regina will crave it for the rest of her life and she was going to eat it in front of everyone and everyone will _know_ that Granny’s diner makes the best cakes in the world.

“That’s your sixth cake,” Mary-Margaret had stated, taking the offered slice. “I don’t know what you’re trying to –– _oh my god_.” Her friend paused, moaning at the taste of the cake before swallowing and looking up at Ruby.

“I know, right?” Ruby said. “I think I finally got the recipe right.”

“What are you going to do?” she asked, taking another fork-full of cake.

“Get Regina to come to the diner, have her try the cake, and then have everyone else try the cake and know that Granny’s Diner makes the best cakes.”

“Oh no.” Mary-Margaret paused. “No. You’re trying to humiliate her. You’re going to start a war, you realise.”

“Just a small one.” Ruby said. “Come on, this isn’t _evil_.”

“ _This_ cake is the best cake I’ve had in my life. I think it’s best dessert I’ve had in my life.”

“I bake the apples separately with cinnamon first,” Ruby told her. “This cake is the most decadent thing I’ve done. In my life. It has six hours worth of _prep_ before I start baking the actual cake, all together.”

“That seems excessive.”

Ruby grinned. “It’s going to be so much fun. She’ll want it for the rest of her life.”

Mary-Margaret paused, swallowing her bite to eye the remained of the cake. “What are you going to do with the rest of that one?”

“You can have it if you want.”

“No, no. I can’t, ” Mary-Margaret said, finishing her piece. “But I mean, if you’re not going to eat it yourself, it’ll be such a waste.”

Ruby shrugged, wiping her hands on her apron. “Take it, really. It won’t be as good as tomorrow night’s.”

“Why?” Ruby cut her friend another slice, pushing the plate over. “Are you not going to make this one again, just more decorated?”

Ruby shook her head. “Nope, I have a special ingredient to add. Special _apples_ you could say.”

“ _That_ is illegal and I don’t want to hear any more of it.”

 

The apples were also, of course, the red flag that would have Regina marching over to the diner, just around the dinner rush.

Well, that had been the plan, anyway. It just so happened that Regina had noticed the missing apples in her backyard and decided to wait.

Around nine-thirty at night, Ruby would start counting the till. Nine out of ten times on the Tuesday night, people left early to go home, switch on their television and maybe buy a pizza. No one really came to the diner past nine and Ruby could count the till and shut up ten minutes earlier, making it  easier to clean out the coffee machine for tomorrow’s morning shift and get into bed earlier for the Saturday morning shift, or get ready to go to the Rabbit Hole.

The cake was sitting and waiting for Madam Mayor in the back. By this point, Ruby had cut her loses and decided that she’d have a slice of cake after she shut up, and maybe take a piece up to Granny. She hadn’t tried it yet. She had wanted it to be perfect for the first cut. 

But just as she walked over to the front of the diner to switch the Open sign to Closed, Regina appeared.

“Shutting early, I see.” 

“No one was here,” Ruby said. “What can I get you?”

“I think I’ll have a coffee.” Regina said, having no intention on drinking that coffee. Ruby knew that. There was no way that Regina drank caffeine after 5.p.m. What it meant, of course,  was going out back and grabbing the milk, pulling out the coffee beans and grinding them and prepping ten minutes of coffee work that she’d cleaned up early. 

All of this, Ruby knew, that Madam Mayor had counted on happening. But even so, it was worth it. Perhaps she couldn’t humiliate her, but at the very least, she could make Regina crave this cake for the rest of her life.

As she set the coffee down and went out back to return the milk, she grabbed her cake, cutting the most _perfect_ piece of decadence, adding the last bits of presentation, before setting it down in front of Regina with a smirk.

“I didn’t order that.”

“I know,” Ruby said, still smirking. “And just so you know, there’s no way that you can _this_ a cake mix.”

Regina met her eyes, holding them with a disbelieving stare as she said, “We shall see.”

It was satisfying, watching as Regina picked up the stainless steel fork and drew it over the corner of the cake. 

The fork’s prongs slipped through the icing, sliding down and through the cake with ease before Regina withdrew a portion and brought it to her lips. 

Ruby hands clung at the diner table as she leant forward and smiled. How could she not like the cake? She opened her mouth, ready to ask Regina what she thought of _this_ homemade cake, only to be stopped by Regina’s moan.

 _Oh my god_. Ruby hissed in a breath, frozen in place by the noise Regina had made.

Having swallowed the bite, Regina’s tongue darted out, licking her lips before she offered Ruby a satisfied smile.  “I see Granny put good to use the apples you stole.”

Ruby’s lips parted, her mind replaying the wanton sound over and over in her head before she caught Regina’s curious expression. Right, she’d said something…insulting, maybe?

“What?” Ruby asked.

“Eloquent as always, dear.”

Ruby felt the heat crawl up her neck. “I made it,” she siad, finally understanding what Regina had said. “The cake. I spent…” she stopped, swallowing back her words as Regina’s attention returned to another bite, another moan catching in the woman’s throat. “…all week…” she finished, tugging at the pants she wore. “Good?” she asked and then immediately chastised herself for the question.

She had meant to sound smug, not desperate for approval.

Regina set the fork down, turning her full attention to Ruby. “So all this was to prove that your cakes aren’t store-bought?”

“They’re not,” Ruby said.

“Well, between you and me, that’s not entirely true, now, is it?”

“Do you think I bought _that_ in a store?” Ruby said, pointing to the remained of the cake left on Regina’s plate.

“I _think_ that you stole my apples,” Regina answered, looking up at Ruby. “And I’m not sure if I’m willing to overlook it, despite their good use.”

“Their good use, you say?” Ruby said, finding her confidence again.

“Of course,” Regina said. “It was most definitely a good use of my apples.”

“It was an _excellent_ use of apples.”

“Mm, but on the other hand, you did steal them…” she trailed off, catching Ruby’s eyes as teased her. “I think that crime deserves a fitting punishment, don’t you?”

Ruby felt an itching thought in her head. Regina didn’t seem angry about the situation, despite what she’d been saying. If anything, Regina seemed to be enjoying the conflict between them. It was almost as iff… Ruby paused, her eyes flicking over the woman’s face. The way her pupils were dilated, the smirk on her mouth, how she was leaning forward to challenge her, all of these lead to an entirely different conclusion.

Was it possible that Regina had been playing her this whole time?

Ruby realised then that Regina had changed from her work clothes to an indigo dress and black heels. She had dressed up for the occasion, had done her hair much nicer than she did for work and fixed her make-up to match her newly adorned dress.

“Something the matter, Miss Lucas?”

“Yes,” she said. “You drew me into this…whatever this is,” she said, watching as Regina’s face held into the perfect mask, hiding whatever she was feeling. “Because you’re bored?”

To that, Regina only shrugged, though her eyes glimmered, as if to congratulate her. _Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!_ “I find ways to occupy my attention,” she told her. 

Ruby’s heart was thudding in her chest, the pressure of the bench against her, only made obvious as she found herself frustrated and excited in the tense moments. The revelation only made more clear as the piece of cake was pushed away, the coffee that had been made and forgotten followed suit as Regina rose on her heels, leaning forward on the bench, only a breath away.

“Now, dear, should I take you to the Sheriff’s Station for theft?” Regina asked her. 

 _Oh_ , she realised then, a small smile on her lips as felt everything click into place. Ruby leant forward, until their was a mere inch between them. “No,” she breathed out, before closing the gap and kissing the mayor. 

It was soft, gentle kiss, hesitated by Ruby’s unsure feelings. Had she read the signs correctly? She wasn’t sure, and with her eyes shut, her lips brushing over the mayors as she pulled back, she waited to see if maybe Regina would shove her away, her anger returning. Or if maybe she wanted this too.

In answer, Regina’s hand slid into through Ruby’s hair, dragging her back as her lips parted to draw in another kiss. Ruby responded, ardently deepening the kiss as she drew her fingers around the nape of Regina’s neck, the palm of her other hand becoming flat on the bench-top as she awkwardly leant over the bench.

She gasped as Regina’s teeth sunk onto her lip, tugging it back before kissing her again with an open mouth and a darting tongue that tasted of the most decadent, delicious cake ever. 

There was a brief moment where Ruby’s brain could only focus on the heavy kissing, where hands tugged at clothing and body parts, before Ruby found herself separating to pull away and look at Madam Mayor. 

The woman’s eyes were confused, her lipstick smudged, as her chest rose and fell with heavy lung-fills. She was, if possible, even more beautiful than before.

Ruby circled around the bench, flicking the diner’s lights off to deter any visitors, switching the sign to read _closed_ , before she strode, in five easy steps, back to Regina. 

Leaning down, she kissed her again, pressing Regina’s back against the bench as her hands tugged at the dress, pushing it above her waist only to have her hands snatched away and placed onto the mayor’s hips. She was then lead backwards –– a hand on her shoulder shoving as a hand in her hair tugged her mouth closer –– until the back of her knees hit the booth.

She collapsed onto the seat and slid backwards on the red vinyl, still kissing Regina, still deeply trying to focus on tongue and teeth and the chair she was on and the hips and the dress and ––

Hands on Ruby’s shoulders, Regina rose, her dress edging up her body as one leg rose over Ruby thighs and came to rest on the other side of them. 

God, Regina was straddling her and Ruby didn’t know exactly how they’d gotten to this point or why. She didn’t care. All she wanted to do, was be the cause of that moan again.

Her hands went to Regina’s stockings, nudging the dress further up her legs, above the suspenders of the garter. The slip of skin between stocking and garter belt was warm and soft as Ruby sunk her fingertips against the skin, clutching Regina closer.

She wanted to remember every moment, every inch that she was privy to, of Regina. Every kiss, that drew a gasp, every moan she brought, every laugh she could find. Ruby wanted _this_.

Drawing her mouth away, Ruby kissed down Regina’s jawline, over her neck and lead her way to the collar of the dress. 

Lifting her hands up, she held one on middle of Regina’s back and lifted the other to the zipper, pulling away to glance at Regina’s face as she tugged it down.

A brief, vulnerable, expression past over Regina’s face before Ruby leant up, kissing her lips as tugged the dress down Regina’s arms and pushed the material down to hang at her waist. Her mouth then drew back to the mayor’s neck, resuming her kissing from where she had previously had been unable to.

Regina gasped then, her body inching further into Ruby’s mouth as a sensitive spot was found.

Placing her hands onto Regina’s sides, just below the navy lace of her bra, she kissed at the area where the shoulder began to curve into the neck, and then bit down at the sensitive area of flesh. In the bite, sinking her teeth on the tense muscle, Ruby felt Regina’s breath draw in with a moan beneath her palms as she arched into the pressured pain.

Kissing the spot and then moving on, down to Regina’s collarbone, she felt fingers tugging at the buttons of her collared shirt, before the material was tugged down her arms. 

Pulling away, Ruby caught Regina’s eyes, staring at them in wonder. Madam Mayor had always dressed impeccably and there was no doubt in how freaking _hot_ she was. But the ghosted lipstick on her lips, the smudged makeup around her eyes. The way her hair had been messed by Ruby’s hands and (most especially) how she looked down at Ruby with an impatient frown on her face as her hands tugged at the button of Ruby’s scarlet jeans.

Ruby found her breath caught, realising that she was privy to a momentarily unmasked Regina for the first time.

“You’re beautiful,” Ruby told her.

“I’m quite aware,” Regina said, carelessly flicking hair from her eyes. “But thank you, dear.”

“No, no. I mean. You’re _beautiful_ ,” she said, catching Regina’s wrists to draw her focus at her. “Not just aesthetically, because, I mean, _duh._ ” Regina’s eyes were darting between Ruby’s, her expression softening into something vulnerable as Ruby looked at her with astonishment. “But really, incredibly beautiful.”

Regina drew in a breath before lunging forward to kiss Ruby’s mouth. As her hands came up to curve around Ruby’s throat, the act was made clear: to silence Ruby’s words and prevent her from speaking any such thing again.

Perhaps she’d hit a sore spot.

Taking the hint, Ruby kissed her hard, drawing her hands over the woman’s back and coming to the lace strap. Undoing the clasps, she stretched her fingers over the bareback, her thumbs drawing over Regina’s waist and up her side, catching where the indents of the bra remained. She felt Regina slide the bra down her arms and cast it away before her hands continued to undo Ruby’s pants, eager to slip inside.

Just as she had managed and Ruby had lifted her hips to allow the jeans to be tugged down far enough, the diner’s lights turned on.

Ruby jolted, tugging Regina into her arms protectively. Shaking hair from her eyes, she looked over the mayor’s shoulder and caught sight of the one person who she desperately wished hadn’t walked in.

“Granny,” Ruby said, holding Regina closer. The woman had tensed in her arms, frozen in what to do, her hands flat against the booth. There was a chance, of course, that Granny hadn’t recognised her and that she could leave without the town becoming aware to such a hook-up, as it were.

“Thought you might need help closing up,” Eugene Lucas said, hands on her hips with her pale cheeks turning red. Her eyes had looked away from her granddaughter, over to where the front door was. “I see that’s not the case.”

“No, no. No it’s not,” Ruby said, her voice shaking. “Um, I’ll –-“

“Get dressed. Finish cleaning up,” Granny said, turning away then to leave. “You too, Madam Mayor.”

Regina signed, dropping her head on Ruby’s shoulder. 

As the receding footsteps of Eugene left, Ruby lessened her hold on the woman. Regina drew back, reaching over the booth to take her bra in hand; she placed it over her chest and clasped it back on before adjusting her breasts to fit comfortably in the cups. None of which particularly drew Ruby’s attention away from the spot of wall where Granny had previously been standing in front of.

 _Fuck_.

Helping Regina to stand up, Ruby drew her attention back to the woman and offered her a stiff smile, unable to properly meet her eyes.

“Sorry,” she said as she pulled her pants up, feeling the damp cotton sit uncomfortably against her as she redid the buttons. There was nothing like your grandmother walking in to make everything stop cold. 

“No need,” Regina replied, zipping her dress up. “I should have realised that this wasn’t the most appropriate of places.”

Ruby hummed in reply, feeling the hot embarrassment rush straight through her body, making her hands shake as she fumbled to do her shirt up. “Dammit,” she cursed, unable to put the button through the hole. “Fuck it. I’ll just ––“

“Here,” Regina said, the mother in her coming out to button the shirt one-by-one while Ruby  held her hands at her sides, having shot her eyes up at the ceiling. _Of all the freaking nights Granny decided to help_!

“Thanks,” she said as Regina adjusted the collar before snapping her hands away, realising what she was doing. 

“Well,” Regina said, stepping away. “Now that’s over, I suppose I might avoid the diner for a while.”

“No, of course. You might have to get your coffee elsewhere for a while,” she joked with a weak voice. Not that there was really anyone else who did coffee in Storybrooke.

“Mm. Well then.”  Regina bit her lip, her hands crossed over her chest as she looked over the diner, doing a double sweep of its contents. “Until next time, then.” She said, nodding to Ruby.

“Sure, yeah,” Ruby nodded and sighed, turning to go and grab a broom. She paused after a few steps, turning to ask about _next time_ only to realise that Regina had left, pulling the door shut behind her.

Sighing, Ruby looked to where the discarded coffee cup was and went to clean it up, noticeing that the slice of cake Regina hadn’t finished –– and its plate in question –– were missing. _Well then_ , Ruby thought with a smile, _perhaps there will be a next time._

 

As it was, Madam Mayor’s assistant ordered a delivery to the office on the Monday. Ruby was happy to take the order to the office and…stay for a chat.


End file.
